so damn tragic

"Freedom, brisk and invigorating. Not a Hallmark experience, not a therapy. Nothing trite or sentimental, nothing preachy or unctuous -- nothing so easy, safe, or formulaic. No comfort zones masquerading as truth.

I'm searching for an unpredictable, body-wrenching experience."

- Max Wolf Valerio, The Testosterone Files

Things to be discussed in the near future:
- gender identity
- body image
- relationships

Things to be discussed as seen fit:
- health
- family
- religion

Things to be mentioned at this moment:
- As of yesterday, I have a girlfriend, which makes the relationships discussion slightly more important than previously expected but doesn't change the fact that past relationships can't really be discussed very well until we've gotten through gender and image, all of which came up in a very serious discussion with my sister last night. Yesterday was a day for progress.
- Today was the first day of my new work-out, as a result of my recent determination that a large part of becoming happier with myself is going to involve getting back into shape. On one hand, I feel just that slightest bit better already. On the other, do you have any idea how depressing it is to recall a day when you could do ten pull-ups in a row and at least thirty sit-ups in one minute when you apparently no longer have the strength to do even one of either?
- I'm about to spend the better part of my afternoon with my sickly grandfather who becomes more verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive with each passing day. It's sort of my birthday present to my grandmother, so she can go flower shopping with my mom and aunt and cousin. On the bright side, he also has physical therapy today so at least most of his bitching won't be directed at me.